Naviagating the Holiday Season When You Have Hyperacusis

It’s December and the middle of the Holiday Season. When there is not a global pandemic that usually means lots of parties, family gatherings, gift giving, music, and decorations. Although most people enjoy these activities, depending on the severity of a person’s hyperacusis, most if not all of the things listed are painful. Think about how much of what we do around the Holidays involves noise: parties are groups of people gathered together which inevitably involves multiple people talking and laughing and usually some type of audio media. The same is true for family gatherings. Often time gifts and presents are wrapped in wrapping paper, which makes loud crinkly noises which causes me sharp stabbing pain. Music has a lot of ups and downs in volume, frequency and pitch, and is physically painful for me even on a low volume. Lastly setting up and unpacking decorations can often involve accidental banging of boxes and items, which causes throbbing pain for me.

This year many people are having to celebrate the holiday season differently due to COVID-19. There are a lot less parties and gatherings, and the ones that are happening are mostly being done through distance communication platforms. Although the virtual world has enabled me to be able to participate in many activities that were previously too loud, by allowing me the ability to mute the audio, I am still unable to attend parties or social gatherings. This is because during such events there are always multiple people talking and laughing loudly at the same time, during most of the meet, which means that I have to have my audio muted the entire time. Even though most in person events are being cancelled, there still remains many other noise problems during the holiday season related to music, gifts, and decorations. That is why it is important for people with hyperacusis to know their noise limitations, and be able to avoid noise levels that are painful to them.

Unfortunately people who don’t have hyperacusis, and don’t have to experience the impact of the noise, will often encourage and pressure those with hyperacusis to participate in or do activities that are too loud for them. There is so much out of date misleading information from medical professionals and the internet promoting that gradual sound exposure is “good and will help improve hyperacusis” that many well meaning friends and family truly believe that by having their loved one partipat in that are “painful” that are actually helping them. As someone who has grown up with severe hyperacusis, I know personally how hard it can be to stand firm and tell people that you can’t do something because it is painful for you, when they are pressuring you. Ultimately though, the people who make these requests and well meaning encouragement, are not the ones who will have to deal with the intense physical pain and setbacks from the noise, only you are. No matter how low your sound tolerance is and how disabling it is, never let other people’s thoughts and misunderstanding about your lack of participation and inability to do “normal” things make you feel bad about yourself or that you have to “prove” something to people.

In addition respecting your noise limitations and not exposing yourself to painful sounds, within your control here are several other tips that I have found helpful in having a good holiday season with hyperacusis, I hope that you find some of these things helpful as well. First, come up with your own quiet holiday traditions, even if you are doing them by yourself. During the holidays, I know that I get to look forward to eating lots of delicious desserts that my mom and grandma bring back from parties and family gatherings. As I am not able to really enjoy Christmas music, my mom and I drive through a silent light show hosted every year in our county.

Secondly, as your family and friends, and those giving you gifts to please not use wrapping paper. When you are preparing gifts for other people, you can put them in cloth or canvas bags, don’t worry try to hurt yourself by making the gifts look fancy with wrapping paper. Finally, communicate with other people who have hyperacusis, especially during the holiday season. You will be able to relate with each other, and share tips and strategies for minimizing and avoiding all the noise that comes with the holiday season. What things have you personally found helpful for navigating the holiday season with hyperacusis, feel free to share your experiences in the comments. You never know, you might help someone else reduce their pain levels.